Marriage

Okay... it's time to blog about... Marriage...

Nope... it's not that I am getting married soon, but I just went for a sermon regarding Marriage, and it broke some misconceptions I had of it. I am writing this to share some of my thoughts...

The pastor approached in from a myth busting angle... much like the Mythbusters show you see on discovery. He went through 3 myths, and debunked each one of them. I shall try to elaborate on all three...

Myth1: Marriage(Or relationships) is because of lust

God's Mythbuster: Sex is for Marriage

1 Cor 7:1-2 "1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.[a] 2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband."

Song of Songs 8:4-7

" Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.
Friends
5 Who is this coming up from the desert
leaning on her lover?

Beloved
Under the apple tree I roused you;
there your mother conceived you,
there she who was in labor gave you birth.

6 Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealousy [a] unyielding as the grave. [b]
It burns like blazing fire,
like a mighty flame. [c]

7 Many waters cannot quench love;
rivers cannot wash it away.
If one were to give
all the wealth of his house for love,
it [d] would be utterly scorned."

Love if very powerful... and we should not awaken love before the time... God's creation of sex and everything is beautiful... (Note: Sex includes the whole package... kissing, caressing, and everything else associated) but if we do it out of the context of marriage, then we are distorting His plans. He gave two quotes:

"Casual dating, where sexual exploration thrives, is God-angering"
"Serious courtship that strives for purity is God-glorifying"

Some may ask..."Is God a kill joy?" "Why postpone sex to marriage?" I guess the fact is that sex is meant to be enjoyed within a relationship of complete commitment to each other. For the power of the union of sex contradicts the notion of casualness and shortage of commitment in pre-marital sex. It's difficult to explain the fundamental notion of why was it created this way... but I guess this is something unique and special that God wants set aside for the gift of marriage...

Conclusion: Lust will not be satisfied if you pursue it outside of marriage, and marriage is not a cure for it. It should be dealt with even before marriage... seeking the help from God to overcome temptations and being strong in it...

Myth 2: Because of Loneliness

God's Mythbuster 2: Marriage is for God's Kingdom

A very HUGE erroneous thinking is the interpretation that Marriage is to cure loneliness because Genesis says so... the famous quote:

"The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18

Many interpret this as Man and Woman marrying because God thinks it's not good for man to be lonely. However, the context is in Genesis 1: 26-28 "26 Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, [a] and over all the creatures that move along the ground."

27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

28 God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."

The context for the creation of a helper is this: So that Man can rule over all the earth, and the method to do this is being fruitful and increasing in number....

Note in Malachi 2:15 " Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. [a] So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth."

He was seeking godly offspring... not PHYSICAL CHILDREN... but SPIRITUAL children... as such... for singles or married couples... the mission and the focus is the same... to grow the kingdom of God... This is John Piper's stand as well... in his book on Marriage...

Conclusion: Marriage is for Man and woman working together for the kingdom of God... to make disciples of all nations... to come together for that purpose... for the need of His kingdom's purposes... and not for our own loneliness...

He mentioned something that struck me deep and hard... LONELINESS is not solved through marriage... it is solved through a personal relationship with God... and relationship with Christian Community...

If you enter marriage with the hope of alleviating your loneliness... the relationship will be very INWARD LOOKING... because you only rely on each other for support... it leads to idolizing even... It is important to remember that the relationship is meant to be outward looking... not just how you can satisfy each other's needs alone....

Of cos, this doesn't mean that if your relationship cures some aspect of your loneliness then you've sinned. But this motivation should not be the fundamental of a marriage.

Lastly...

Myth 3: Because of LOVE

God's Mythbuster: Marriage is for Gospel Proclamation

As most of us are familiar... Marriage is the representation of the relationship between Christ and the Church...

Ephesians 5:31-32 "31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."[a] 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.


Marriage is but a pointer of things to come... Of the relationship between Christ and the Church. For we know that in Heaven... there is no longer marriage... Matthew 22:29-30 "Jesus replied, "You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God. 30At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven"

It is important to understand the relationship between Christ and the Church... because that is exactly what your marriage should reflect... Marriage is an opportunity for the gospel to be preached...

When people see the sacrificial love of the husband for his wife, they see and understand the sacrificial love that Christ had for the church. When people see the complete submission of the wife to the husband, they see the complete submission of the church to Christ...

Hope that this sharing on marriage has helped you in one way or another...

In today's culture, it is too easy to want to pursue marriage recklessly, carelessly, and fully based on emotions. Emotions change, and marriage has its unique purpose in God's kingdom. If we don't understand all this, then we shouldn't be entering into a relationship... that could tarnish both parties if not handled wisely...

Let's pursue courtship (dating with an intent of marriage) with godly discernment and godly love...